


The Language Of A Memory

by forsitvenire



Series: A Heavy Heart To Carry [1]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Developing Relationship, Early Mornings, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sleep Deprivation, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forsitvenire/pseuds/forsitvenire
Summary: A spy-in-training and a stonemason share a quiet morning.
Relationships: Mathias Shaw/Edwin VanCleef
Series: A Heavy Heart To Carry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761172
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	The Language Of A Memory

Something, a shadow, perhaps, shifted in his peripheral vision and Edwin blinked up abruptly. His eyes were painfully dry and stung even with the slightest of movements against his eyelids. 

The room around him was darker than he remembered, illuminated mostly by the only still burning candle, flickering weakly to his left. He dragged his eyes slowly across his desk and the numerous lumps of the remaining melted candle wax he had lit throughout the night. The pale rays of sunlight seeped into the room through the thin slits between the drawn curtains and he realized it must’ve been hours since he had sat down by his desk the evening prior. 

He dropped the graphite stub he was clutching tightly between his fingers, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He dragged his hands across his face, trying to rub away the exhaustion that had settled there after all the time he had spent going through more pieces of parchment and bristol than he could possibly count, that were now scattered all around the floor and the desk of his room. All of them were marked with Baros Alexston’s slender signature, and they were mostly filled with his hand-drawn designs, plans and patterns, but it was a stonemason’s job to calculate the exact measurements and the amount of supplies needed to make the architect’s plans come to life. 

He stretched his arms above his head with a yawn, trying to ease the dull ache in his spine. There were bruises already forming on the skin around his elbows, where he had leant on them throughout the night, as he went through page after page, writing down narrow lines of numbers and methodical calculations. 

There was another slight movement somewhere to his side behind the curtains, and he moved his head towards it reluctantly, careful not to hurt his already stiff neck. 

He pushed the chair away from the desk, then placed his hands onto its tabletop to heave himself upward. 

He couldn’t possibly be called old by any means, but they had done some pretty heavy lifting the previous day at the cathedral and his strained muscles reminded him of that with every step he took towards the window. 

He grasped the curtains firmly and jerked them open. The westernmost part of the city was still mostly hidden in shadow, but there was already a glowing edge forming between the thick clouds that rolled above the Elwynn forest in the east, bright enough to allow him to clearly distinguish the shapes of buildings and rooftops around him. 

He unlocked the clasp that held the double-leaf window closed and pulled it open, letting in the sea breeze that blew softly across his face and ruffled the unruly strands of his black hair that framed it. 

He placed his hands on the windowsill and leaned forward slightly, searching for the source of movement, which he presumed, was probably a pidgeon or some other type of flying pest. 

When he noticed it again, it was accompanied by a soft scratch of leathers against the stone, just mere centimeters to his right. 

His head jerked to the side and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of a figure crouching on the stone cornice just slightly below the windowsill, half-hidden in the shadow behind the window frame. 

The figure was dressed entirely in plain, soft leathers, with a few steel daggers strapped to their belt and a hood pulled over their head, keeping the upper part of their face hidden in shadow. 

Edwin could recognize the freckles and sparse, auburn hairs that covered the figure’s chin and upper lip anywhere, though. 

“Good morning,” said Mathias, shifting his weight on the stone ledge from one knee to the other. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t mistake you for a thief,” Edwin replied dryly, but couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. He stepped back a little, away from the window, making room for Mathias to climb up from the cornice and plop down onto the windowsill. “Can’t say my first instinct wasn’t to throw my chisel first, then see for myself who decided to lurk around the light damned rooftop in the middle of the night.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s the middle of the night,” Mathias replied, lifting his hands to pull back his hood. He glanced briefly around the room in front of him, taking in all the pieces of parchment, wooden rulers and setsquares, rusted calipers and graphite sticks scattered all over the place, before his eyes finally settled on Edwin. “I was actually about to apologize for waking you up, but it doesn’t really look like you’ve slept at all.”

Edwin waited for Mathias to settle against the window frame comfortably, before he moved forward, taking his previous place by the windowsill again, the narrow space forcing his thigh to press tightly against Mathias’ knee and leather-clad calf. 

“I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep,” he said after a while, looking at something in the far distance, though his eyes couldn’t really focus on anything. “The people I work with are hard labourers, but not many of them can read or write properly. Which leaves me as the only one able to convert Alexston’s designs into something they can work with. It’s not really complicated, just…” he paused, rubbing at his eyes with a tired sigh, “Takes an awful lot of time to finish.” 

“Isn’t that a safety hazard, though? I’m not really sure who you answer to, but I wouldn’t want the only construction worker I have that’s able to read the city designs fall off the scaffolding because of sleep-deprivation,” Mathias observed. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before he added: “I mean, I wouldn’t want you to fall off the scaffolding even if I wasn’t your superior.”

Edwin scoffed, but eventually reciprocated the slightly amused smile that danced on Mathias’ thin lips.

“Good to know at least someone would miss me,” he said after a while, and his mood turned a bit more somber. “Though I can’t really, you know, _not_ work. Some people actually have to pay to have a bed to sleep on and something to eat. I don’t think anyone cares about me being sleep-deprived. Apart from you, maybe.”

He dropped his hand to rest at the windowsill again and cocked his head to the side slightly, to take a proper look at the young rogue beside him. 

Mathias’ posture seemed relaxed and he was leaning slightly to his left, resting the side of his head and his shoulder against the wooden window frame. His hands were clasped loosely between his thighs and his eyes were half-lidded, and he regarded Edwin with a soft, though somewhat unreadable expression. 

He didn’t really look the best himself. His skin seemed more pale than usual, and his normally fluffy auburn hair was matted and swept back, due to, what Edwin presumed, long periods of time with the hood draped over his face. There were faint, purplish shadows in the inner corners of his eyes, a fresh bruise forming around the angle of his jaw and a couple of dried specks of blood on his cheekbone. 

Edwin’s gaze shifted lower and he noticed just the smallest of details, that had slipped his attention before. Mathias’ armor, though overall in a pretty good condition at the first glance, was visibly battered around his elbows and knees. The smooth leather that stretched across his left thigh was also marred with thin cuts, showing tiny glimpses of the delicate chain link he wore underneath. His leather gloves were also covered in dark, uneven spots, especially visible across his knuckles, where they smeared together to form an uneven stain. 

Edwin, despite his curiosity, had the decency to never ask Mathias about what he did under the cover of the night. Mathias didn’t really seem keen on telling him about it either, so Edwin had never really pressed it further. 

But the state that Mathias was in at that moment, sitting casually right beside him, swarmed his mind with thoughts he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to acknowledge. Thoughts that weakly prodded at the back of his brain, making him wonder how many times Mathias almost didn’t make it to see him. That one day, he actually might not make it. 

Edwin’s hand lifted shakily on its own accord as he brought it towards Mathias’ face and after a mere second of hesitation, pressed his thumb against Mathias’ stained cheek, trying to wipe off the dried blood there.

Mathias didn’t move at all under his touch, though his eyes were open a bit more than before and his gaze seemed more lucid and focused, as he watched the other man beside him. 

“Looks like you didn’t sleep at all, either,” Edwin said quietly, letting his hand slip down from Mathias’ cheek, to rest in the angle between his neck and shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s not my blood,” Mathias replied, though it didn’t really answer Edwin’s question. “I’m fine. Didn’t sleep much the past couple of days, same as you.” 

“Why’d you come, then?” Edwin asked, withdrawing his hand entirely, to place it back on top of the windowsill. “You chided me that sleep deprivation and scaffolding didn’t mix well, and yet, you climbed here across rooftops in a probably worse state than I am.”

Mathias shrugged, looking away. He fidgeted with the reinforced seam that ran across the underside of his glove, rubbing his fingers across it. 

“I guess I just wanted to see you,” he said quietly after a while, averting Edwin’s gaze. “It’s been a while… I mean, for obvious reasons. We’re both busy. And—,” he paused, rubbing the back of his glove against his cheek, just where Edwin’s hand was moments ago, “I have to leave Stormwind soon, for a couple of days. Not sure when they’ll let me come back, so. I figured I’d catch you before your morning shift and we’d be able to spend a while together.” 

Edwin stayed silent, staring at Mathias’ profile, his mind too clouded with exhaustion to come up with a decent reply. His fingers tightened slightly on the wooden frame under them and he exhaled shakily.

Silence fell between them, easy and weirdly comforting, despite Mathias’ words still ringing in Edwin’s ears. His gaze slipped away from the man next to him, and moved further across the rooftops, stone walls, canals and alleyways, still devoid of people, due to how early it still was. The streets would soon swarm with the city’s inhabitants - merchants, vendors, fishermen, huntsmen, and soon, he’d also have to join them as he made his way across the city towards the unfinished cathedral, where he’d spent the rest of the day, until nightfall. 

The rising sun began to slowly illuminate more parts of city stretching below him. It still bore visible signs of destruction that ravaged it a few months ago. Destruction, to which he dedicated the majority of his time so far, trying to fix it as best as he could. 

The rest of it was dedicated to the man sitting quietly next to him. The man, that he barely knew anything about, and yet he occupied almost every moment in his life, apart from the hours he spent working with the other stonemasons.

Mathias filled Edwin’s mind in a way he couldn’t really comprehend, couldn’t really deal with on his own, as it was something he hadn’t really experienced before. All he knew was that he looked forward to every minute they got to spend together. Whatever it was, that had started to bloom between them, existed only in those stolen moments they shared, often too brief to Edwin’s liking. A lunch break in the shade of the keep, a quick chat by the edge of the old town, or sometimes, when they both were lucky enough to have their respective evenings off - a stroll through the harbour, when they watched the ships come in and out of the bay until the sun had set well below the horizon and it was too dark to make out their shapes against the dark waters. Edwin couldn’t think of any other person that’d make him feel at ease the same way Mathias did. That’d make every second spent by their side somewhat meaningful.

He wasn’t sure what the future would bring. He was aware, that the times were uncertain, and not really fitting for developing relationships, especially between people like them. And that’s why he tried to commit to memory moments like these, to the best of his abilities. 

A soft rustling sound roused him from his thoughts, and suddenly he felt a warm, bare hand covering his own, clasped tightly over the windowsill. 

Edwin glanced to his side, slightly startled, catching Mathias’ gaze. His face was hidden in shadow, but the sun rising behind him illuminated the back of his armor and the hair around his face, almost like a halo of some sort. The expression in his eyes seemed wary, uncertain, but nevertheless hopeful. 

“I’ll find you when I get back,” Mathias said. “If you want me to, that is.”

Edwin slipped his hand from under Mathias’ own, but before the other man could withdraw it completely, grasped it again, this time with his palm up, to be able to properly intertwine their fingers together.

“I know. And I want you to. And I will be waiting,” he replied softly.

Mathias smiled brightly at him, and Edwin couldn’t really tell whether the shine in his eyes was caused by the smile mirrored there, or just the reflection of the sunrays. Both options were equally breathtaking, and he reciprocated the gesture with similar brightness. 

They watched the horizon quietly until the sun rose above it entirely, bathing them and Stormwind below in warm, pinkish glow and the first sounds of the city waking up reached their ears. 

“I have to go,” Mathias said after a while, shifting slightly beside him. “You probably have to, too.” 

Edwin squeezed his fingers gently, before letting go entirely. Mathias withdrew his hand with visible reluctance, before pulling on his glove again. 

“I’ll find you. First thing I’ll do when I get back, I promise,” he said, pushing himself up to kneel at the windowsill, holding one hand against the window frame to keep balance. 

“We could go camping at the Stone Cairn lake after? For a day or two, at least,” Edwin suggested. “We could do some fishing? Maybe take turns sleeping to get enough sleep to compensate all the… you know, not sleeping. Just something to get away from all the work-related things.” 

“If you manage to find a good murloc repellent, then I might consider your proposition,” Mathias grinned. His smile became softer a moment later, though. “But even if you don’t, I’d still very much like that.” 

Silence fell between them, as they both seemed to hesitate momentarily for some reason. But then Edwin made up his mind and shifted forward a bit and Mathias reacted to it as if it was the most natural thing to ever happen between them. 

He lowered himself a bit from his place at the windowsill, letting Edwin wrap his arms tightly around his shoulders, as he did the same in return. 

The embrace, brief as it was, was filled with emotion neither of them could really name. But after they both let go, they found themselves immediately missing the closeness of the other’s arms. 

Edwin stepped back, to give the other man enough space to climb down from the windowsill back onto the cornice below. 

“Be careful,” he called after Mathias, after just a moment of hesitation. 

Mathias glanced back at him over his shoulder with a small smile on his lips. 

“You too. Make sure not to fall down from any scaffolding. I really want to go camping, now that you mentioned it,” he called back. And with that, he pulled the hood over his head again and jumped up towards a nearby balcony, heaving himself up the railing, until he was able to easily reach the top of the building. He climbed onto the rooftop and made his way across it, his movements graceful and almost cat-like, before he disappeared entirely from Edwin’s sight behind the roof of the adjacent building. 

Edwin closed the window and made sure the latch was closed properly, before drawing the curtains together the way they had been before. 

The room was filled with soft darkness again, but at least he knew the air inside would be pleasantly cool when he would return after a whole day of working in the upcoming swelter. 

He changed quickly into his work clothes and began gathering the designs he had worked on for the entire night, and that he would probably need to explain again to his guildmates. 

He was done soon enough, leaving his sparsely-furnished room in a general state of tidiness. He locked the door and made his way down the stairs, then outside of the building, onto the street that ran alongside one of the canals. And despite the almost overwhelming weariness that had settled deep inside his bones, he couldn’t help the soft, warm feeling blooming in his chest, that made his thoughts about the future just the tiniest bit brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE LOOK AT [THIS WONDERFUL ILLUSTRATION](https://imgur.com/a/h7ecPYz), THAT WAS INSPIRED BY THIS FANFIC. THANK YOU SOOOO MUUUUCH @Imgabe <3<3<3!!
> 
> ***
> 
> I like to think that before it all went down Shaw and Van Cleef actually shared a couple of soft/even platonic moments like this one. And that Shaw kept them in his memory despite it all, and came back to them in times of weakness.
> 
> Pls tell me if you find any mistakes, English is not my native language.
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](https://xcosmicreaver.tumblr.com/).


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